On condition that it may be so tough to discover a therapist as of late (not to mention a great one), it’s tempting to contemplate double dipping should you’re in {couples} remedy but in addition in search of particular person assist, or vice-versa. However can a therapist see a pair individually for one-on-one remedy?
Technically, sure. There’s no regulation towards your {couples} therapist doubling as your particular person therapist, says Dana M. Harris, LMFT, who treats people and {couples}. Nonetheless, “that is sometimes an moral battle,” Harris says. “Most of us are educated that this isn’t a finest follow and there are many explanation why.”
That mentioned, there are some instances the place having your {couples} therapist additionally serving as your particular person therapist could also be useful. However there’s lots of nuance round this matter to unpack—and explanation why therapists won’t be into the concept in any respect.
Associated Tales
When a therapist mustn’t see {couples} individually for remedy
As Harris talked about, there are fairly a couple of instances wherein it wouldn’t be moral or advisable to your {couples} therapist to be your particular person therapist.
For instance, it’s a nasty concept when the therapist is simply seeing one individual within the relationship (versus everybody concerned). “If a therapist is seeing one individual from the couple individually, it may be exhausting—at the same time as a therapist—to ensure that they’re not biased,” says Harris. In any case, they’re listening to much more about one individual than the opposite individual or individuals within the relationship.
“If a therapist is seeing one individual from the couple individually, it may be exhausting—at the same time as a therapist—to ensure that they’re not biased.” —Dana M. Harris, LMFT
And if it’s exhausting for a licensed therapist to verify their biases, think about what it could be wish to the one that isn’t receiving particular person remedy from this supplier. “It’s exhausting for the opposite individual within the couple to actually imagine that the therapist isn’t taking sides,” Harris says, which could impression the result or efficacy of the {couples} remedy classes. (For instance, you is perhaps much less receptive to suggestions or workout routines prompt by the therapist should you really feel such as you’re not getting a good shake throughout the group classes.)
There’s additionally a problem of confidentiality, says particular person and {couples} therapist Anthony Phillips, AMFT. “As therapists, we at all times adhere to a secrecy coverage, that means that no matter is talked about throughout particular person remedy has to remain in that session so far as the therapist is worried.” When your therapist is treating you and the couple you’re in, it instantly challenges a therapists’ capacity to keep up that secrecy coverage, Phillips provides.
Additionally, we’d be remiss to not level out that when therapists are treating people, that singular individual is their shopper. “However once we’re treating a pair, the connection is our shopper,” Harris says. What Harris means by that is that the therapist is not going to deal with any session as one associate versus one other associate. Essentially, it’s all companions versus the argument, subject, battle—you get the purpose. This method helps stop individuals from experiencing perceived biases and retains them on the identical collaborative web page.
For all of those causes, not one of the therapists we spoke to deal with people separate from their {couples} counseling. “I’ve labored with {couples} who resolve to cease remedy and I’ll proceed seeing one member of the couple as a person, however I ensure that they perceive that we can not return to {couples} remedy as soon as that occurs,” says Harris, referencing the hazards of perceived biases.
Is it ever okay to get particular person remedy out of your {couples} therapist?
That mentioned, there are some cases the place it may be useful to your {couples} therapist to double as your private therapist. The most typical incidence for that is earlier than you absolutely decide to {couples} remedy, says intercourse therapist and licensed scientific social employee Chanta Blue, LCSW.
“That is useful for the therapist as a result of we’re capable of get a full background historical past of every individual within the relationship,” Blue says. She provides that this will likely additionally present a chance for one associate to totally specific how they really feel with out worrying about hurting individuals’s emotions.
It may also be useful for people to individually get remedy from their {couples} counselor in the event that they’re having a tough time speaking of their {couples} session, says Phillips. “If the couple is risky in session they usually do not do properly speaking with one another, getting a narrative from each views could be useful whenever you carry it to {couples} remedy,” he says.
This therapeutic double-dipping can also be useful in ensuring that the targets of the couple and respective people are aligned, says Harris. Say that one of many individuals within the relationship is engaged on their defensiveness. “When that’s developing within the couple’s session, it is a lot simpler if the identical therapist is aware of that [and handles it in individual sessions],” she says.
TL;DR: You could possibly have the identical therapist for your self as you do for {couples} counseling—however you’d need to ensure that all the individuals within the relationship are seeing the therapist individually to be able to stop perceived biases.
And, keep in mind, whenever you and your associate(s) struggle, it’s hardly you versus them. Essentially, it’s y’all versus the issue—so proceed accordingly.
